I actually feel like a total hypocrite after writing my last post about the 72 hour rule and not publishing another one for more than double that time. I am not one for excuses, but, quite honestly, I have been incredibly busy and unable to write. Even as we speak, I am blogging from my blackberry.
Anyway, although I may sound organized on here (as I try to be), I did something very and unfortunate today; after having lunch with my grandmother in Rutherford (near Calistoga and in the wine country), I locked the keys to her turquoise convertible in the trunk. With today's cars' safety features, there was literally no way to get the keys out of the trunk without getting an extra key, so Triple A came and stayed about 30 seconds with no job to do. Luckily, my step grandfather (who is a saint and quite obviously Type B) drove almost 2 hours in traffic to deliver us the spare key. We need more people like him in this world.
Anyway, the moral of the story here is that having an attitude and getting upset about life's little mishaps never makes the situation any better. For some of us, it is difficult to remain calm when
unfortunate events happen. Immediately after slamming the trunk closed, I felt my anxiety level rise because I knew the keys were in there. I was thinking about the plans I had made back home, but more pressingly, I was paranoid that my grandmother would be upset. To my great surprise, I was the only one freaking out; my grandma merely laughed it off, which made me feel stupid for caring so much. When it comes to overall happiness, staying cool, calm, and collected is the way to go.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The 72 hour rule and schedules
So it has been over a week since I've written on here, which was probably a little too long to wait. My mom once told me about the 72-hour rule, which states that if you wait more than 72 hours from doing something, your motivation drastically decreases for wanting to do it again. She applied the rule to exercise, but I would say that, for me, it goes for many other activities as well, such as writing in a blog.
For this reason, I am a firm believer in schedules and structure. I don't think every moment in a given day should EVER be scheduled, because that usually leads to a failure to follow the schedule, and sometimes the most important events get sacrificed first. More importantly, especially during summer vacation, having some plans in place can be very helpful in reducing boredom and the destructive activities that come with it (like excessive partying). This could mean getting a job, taking classes, or even just making a specified time for writing in a blog.
To sum it up, my suggestion to all you bored teenagers on summer vacation is that you buy a planner and write some events down in it. Summer should not be boring! Plan a trip to the beach!
Anyway, now that I have broken my streak of no blogging, I will write again in the next few days!
For this reason, I am a firm believer in schedules and structure. I don't think every moment in a given day should EVER be scheduled, because that usually leads to a failure to follow the schedule, and sometimes the most important events get sacrificed first. More importantly, especially during summer vacation, having some plans in place can be very helpful in reducing boredom and the destructive activities that come with it (like excessive partying). This could mean getting a job, taking classes, or even just making a specified time for writing in a blog.
To sum it up, my suggestion to all you bored teenagers on summer vacation is that you buy a planner and write some events down in it. Summer should not be boring! Plan a trip to the beach!
Anyway, now that I have broken my streak of no blogging, I will write again in the next few days!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
A little on friendship... and Yoga?
I actually am having a huge debate in my head over whether to write a post right now or not. The part of me that wants to write the post is pondering the thousands of ideas running through my head, while the part of me that doesn't is feeling my congestion, achiness, and fever. I know I should be laying on the couch watching a movie, but there's plenty of time for that later.
First... wow. Today, I once again was blown away by how important it is to feel like you have close relationships. I had a long conversation with my best friend this afternoon, and I noticed the unique feeling
of bonding with someone, whether it is over recreation, interests, or even unhappiness. I can't stress enough how much a sense of well-being comes from feeling companionship with others. My tip for those who may be feeling disconnected is to write down a list of three to five people (which can include family members) whom you can rely on. Then, somehow contact every single one, even if it takes you a little while, and tell them how much you care about them. I guarantee that it will brighten their days. :)
of bonding with someone, whether it is over recreation, interests, or even unhappiness. I can't stress enough how much a sense of well-being comes from feeling companionship with others. My tip for those who may be feeling disconnected is to write down a list of three to five people (which can include family members) whom you can rely on. Then, somehow contact every single one, even if it takes you a little while, and tell them how much you care about them. I guarantee that it will brighten their days. :)Second and completely unrelated... I actually came upon a website that offers trainings to be a yoga teacher, which sparked my interest. I know that I will need to take classes more regularly this summer before I try to get a certification, but I feel like it would be a really cool experience. Yoga combines mind, body, and spirit, three of my interests (well, I guess they are everyone's interests in one way or another), and promotes RELAXATION! I think everyone can advocate for relaxation every once in a while, am I right?
Well, the yoga thing is just an idea... but what's an great idea if you don't look into it?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Getting sick in a time of good things...
It sounds pessimistic to say that good things don't last forever... but that is how I am currently feeling. Yesterday was a really great day; I got in two workouts, went shopping with one of my good friends, ate a delicious dinner with my family, and, most exciting of all, I STARTED THIS BLOG! Yet, I knew something wasn't right when I was extremely hot last night before I went to bed... and... what do you know? I woke up with a fever of 101, a sinus headache, and zero energy. 
I feel that it is important never to pity oneself, even though I often find myself doing it. I will say to myself, "It's not fair! I get sick so often!" Yet, while I think these negative thoughts, which may or may not be accurate, I am not finding any solution to the problem at hand. I am actually making myself feel worse because I begin to believe my negative self-talk. Instead, I should be resting and trying to heal my body for mass on Friday, graduation on Sunday, and Hawaii on Monday.
Illness is one of those things that makes us feel helpless because our bodies only heal as fast as they can. Getting sick is pretty different from, say, failing a test, because when we are sick, we are unable to use many of the coping skills we might normally use to feel better. Two of my favorite coping skills are working out and taking walks, which obviously aren't great for recovery from the flu. I consistently need to remind myself that those things WILL come back in a few days if I take it easy and take care of myself. It may not feel great to sit around the house on a beautiful sunny day, but it would feel much worse to prolong my illness from inadequate rest.
I don't expect anybody to find joy out of being sick, especially when you feel the way I do right now (nauseous, tired, weak, cold, etc.) However, illness is a time for relaxation, watching your favorite movies, catching up on sleep, doing some crossword puzzles, or doing whatever your favorite lazy day activity is.
I feel that it is important never to pity oneself, even though I often find myself doing it. I will say to myself, "It's not fair! I get sick so often!" Yet, while I think these negative thoughts, which may or may not be accurate, I am not finding any solution to the problem at hand. I am actually making myself feel worse because I begin to believe my negative self-talk. Instead, I should be resting and trying to heal my body for mass on Friday, graduation on Sunday, and Hawaii on Monday.
Illness is one of those things that makes us feel helpless because our bodies only heal as fast as they can. Getting sick is pretty different from, say, failing a test, because when we are sick, we are unable to use many of the coping skills we might normally use to feel better. Two of my favorite coping skills are working out and taking walks, which obviously aren't great for recovery from the flu. I consistently need to remind myself that those things WILL come back in a few days if I take it easy and take care of myself. It may not feel great to sit around the house on a beautiful sunny day, but it would feel much worse to prolong my illness from inadequate rest.
I don't expect anybody to find joy out of being sick, especially when you feel the way I do right now (nauseous, tired, weak, cold, etc.) However, illness is a time for relaxation, watching your favorite movies, catching up on sleep, doing some crossword puzzles, or doing whatever your favorite lazy day activity is.
Little flu viruses DO pass, and the sun will be out when I'm well again.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Gossip Magazines first.
In my opinion, magazines are entertaining, yet often misleading and VERY addicting.
Actually, let me clarify here; I am not going to touch on educational magazines, business magazines, or most specific interest magazines, mainly because I haven't read enough to judge them. In fact, I enjoy an intellectual periodical every now and then, so I won't start in with those either.
What I want to talk about is gossip magazines, fitness magazines, and fashion/beauty magazines.
Let's start with gossip magazines: what ISN'T wrong with an article titled "Boob Jobs, Botox, & Lipo"? I definitely saw this magazine at the front counter at 7eleven this week, and I wasn't impressed. It appalls me that our society is so enthralled by Hollywood's unhealthy obsession with artificial body transformation.... and yet... there I was... tempted to read it.
Luckily, I happened to be in a hurry to get home, so I had no time to flip through the magazine. Normally, though, I would have looked at it. I think I would liken reading an article from Star magazine to smoking a joint; it's usually fun in the short run, but it pollutes us with carcinogenic material (or something close to it).
I do think it's truly unfortunate that the first thing we see in line at the grocery store is a picture of Oprah 100 pounds heavier on the cover of the National Enquirer. Not only does it gross me out, but it sends the wrong messages to the general public. So, relating this to happiness, avoid gossip magazines at all costs, even if they lure you in. Nobody comes out of reading Us weekly with any more insight unless you consider Heidi and Spencer an intelligent topic. And yet, I still plan on watching the Hills tonight. Maybe I'll grow out of it.
Actually, let me clarify here; I am not going to touch on educational magazines, business magazines, or most specific interest magazines, mainly because I haven't read enough to judge them. In fact, I enjoy an intellectual periodical every now and then, so I won't start in with those either.
What I want to talk about is gossip magazines, fitness magazines, and fashion/beauty magazines.
Let's start with gossip magazines: what ISN'T wrong with an article titled "Boob Jobs, Botox, & Lipo"? I definitely saw this magazine at the front counter at 7eleven this week, and I wasn't impressed. It appalls me that our society is so enthralled by Hollywood's unhealthy obsession with artificial body transformation.... and yet... there I was... tempted to read it.
Luckily, I happened to be in a hurry to get home, so I had no time to flip through the magazine. Normally, though, I would have looked at it. I think I would liken reading an article from Star magazine to smoking a joint; it's usually fun in the short run, but it pollutes us with carcinogenic material (or something close to it).
I do think it's truly unfortunate that the first thing we see in line at the grocery store is a picture of Oprah 100 pounds heavier on the cover of the National Enquirer. Not only does it gross me out, but it sends the wrong messages to the general public. So, relating this to happiness, avoid gossip magazines at all costs, even if they lure you in. Nobody comes out of reading Us weekly with any more insight unless you consider Heidi and Spencer an intelligent topic. And yet, I still plan on watching the Hills tonight. Maybe I'll grow out of it.
Physical Activity and Happiness
What can I say? Being active makes me happier than most other activities I pursue. I would like to say that it's ONLY about how I feel afterwards... the accomplishment, the endorphins, etc... but it's very hard not to focus on the physical changes that come along with working out. I often find myself looking in the mirror or taking pictures of my more defined muscles or smaller stomach. What I've noticed over time, however, is that weight fluctuates... throughout the year, the month, the week... even throughout the DAY. Why should I bother checking out my stomach if it's just going to make me UNHAPPY when it's bigger after dinner?
I have to say that I do NOT recommend working out to see physical changes. This may seem hypocritical because, yes, I do it too, but it doesn't make me happy, and, if anything, it causes me more distress. It is something that I am currently working on changing.
Not everything we do has to be in our own best interest... in fact, if it were, nobody would ever do nice things for others. However, exercise, aside from sports, is a personal and self-centered activity. We should do it to improve our cardiovascular health, our strength, and our longevity. Magazines, which I will discuss in depth another time, often portray exercise as a vehicle for weight loss or toning up, but that puts unnecessary pressure on us. People wouldn't care what they looked like if they felt happy and healthy already!
Also, wouldn't it be nice to just work out when we felt like it and when we had the energy? I know that in our society, with stressful jobs, home lives, and other seemingly more important priorities, exercise seems more like a chore than an activity to do for fun. This is why there are days when we can't exercise or just don't want to, and that's OKAY. I find that I have to consistently remind myself that even a 15 minute walk counts for physical activity. If I have a lot of homework, even stretching in between assignments makes me feel better.
The main idea here is that...
1) Our bodies were meant to move, but we aren't all gym junkies, and we don't all need to be! I personally like pumping iron sometimes, but salsa dancing, hiking, and kayaking are all just as beneficial.
2) On those days when we just have too much to do, we can't beat ourselves up about being "LAZY". If you're one of those people who KNOWS you will be unhappy if you don't get any physical activity, then you're like me, and you probably want to take a short stroll or a stretching break. If you are totally okay with not exercising for a day, then good for you! We all admire you :)
3) I don't believe that excuses help anybody too much, but neither does regret. My tip is to just say, "What can I do that will make me feel better in the long run?" (haha, maybe go for a LONG RUN. Okay, that was stupid.)
4) If you are more of the type who makes excuses and lacks motivation on most days to work out, try some type of new exercise. There are endless ways to get your body moving and your heart rate up. I actually shot hoops yesterday and scootered around the block for the first time since last summer, and it was incredibly fun!
Fitness is one of those things that is always on my mind, so you will definitely hear more from me on this topic.
I have to say that I do NOT recommend working out to see physical changes. This may seem hypocritical because, yes, I do it too, but it doesn't make me happy, and, if anything, it causes me more distress. It is something that I am currently working on changing.
Not everything we do has to be in our own best interest... in fact, if it were, nobody would ever do nice things for others. However, exercise, aside from sports, is a personal and self-centered activity. We should do it to improve our cardiovascular health, our strength, and our longevity. Magazines, which I will discuss in depth another time, often portray exercise as a vehicle for weight loss or toning up, but that puts unnecessary pressure on us. People wouldn't care what they looked like if they felt happy and healthy already!
Also, wouldn't it be nice to just work out when we felt like it and when we had the energy? I know that in our society, with stressful jobs, home lives, and other seemingly more important priorities, exercise seems more like a chore than an activity to do for fun. This is why there are days when we can't exercise or just don't want to, and that's OKAY. I find that I have to consistently remind myself that even a 15 minute walk counts for physical activity. If I have a lot of homework, even stretching in between assignments makes me feel better.
The main idea here is that...
1) Our bodies were meant to move, but we aren't all gym junkies, and we don't all need to be! I personally like pumping iron sometimes, but salsa dancing, hiking, and kayaking are all just as beneficial.
2) On those days when we just have too much to do, we can't beat ourselves up about being "LAZY". If you're one of those people who KNOWS you will be unhappy if you don't get any physical activity, then you're like me, and you probably want to take a short stroll or a stretching break. If you are totally okay with not exercising for a day, then good for you! We all admire you :)
3) I don't believe that excuses help anybody too much, but neither does regret. My tip is to just say, "What can I do that will make me feel better in the long run?" (haha, maybe go for a LONG RUN. Okay, that was stupid.)
4) If you are more of the type who makes excuses and lacks motivation on most days to work out, try some type of new exercise. There are endless ways to get your body moving and your heart rate up. I actually shot hoops yesterday and scootered around the block for the first time since last summer, and it was incredibly fun!
Fitness is one of those things that is always on my mind, so you will definitely hear more from me on this topic.
Why a blog of all things?
Hi! My name is Julia, and I've decided to start a blog on happiness.
If you don't know me at all, one thing you should know is that I feel better when things are organized. However, I am far from a neat freak, which, as you might guess, causes me quite a bit of cognitive dissonance... but we can get into that another time. For now.. to stay on track, let me tell you why I wanted to start a blog.
1) I want to become a better writer. Yes, I do know that many blogs are written in chat lingo, but I plan on using (more or less) grammatically correct sentences on my posts. I also hope to broaden my vocabulary a bit, which will always be helpful in the future.
2) At the same time... blogs are casual. I know for myself that I need a delicate balance between organization and leniency in order to avoid being stressed out with writing.
3) It has taken me a long time to realize it, but I truly enjoy expressive and creative writing. It is really hard to be a high school student in a regular English class and really LIKE writing all the essays we are assigned...fortunately, I am officially a high school graduate in five (5) days! I think that the assigned reading really turned me away from taking the Honors English courses at my high school, which could have probably enhanced my literary skills quite a bit. However, regret gets us nowhere.
4) I want to be able to help myself as well as others find the "key" to happiness. I used quotations because, of course, there is no magical solution for everyone that cures depression or life dissatisfaction. That is why everything in this blog is completely subjective, and any advice I may give is not meant to be taken personally. You can use it however you feel works for you.
I know I mentioned myself above, and yes, I will admit right now, I have suffered from depression on and off since I was about 12 years old. It has manifested itself in many different ways, but, thanks to lots of introspection (and a lot of therapy in general), I have become self-aware enough to keep it in check. I feel that a lot of people, especially in the United States, are unhappy for various reasons... maybe due to societal pressures, family problems, chemical imbalances, negative explanatory styles... there are endless causes for unhappiness.
There are also an infinite number of solutions for unhappiness. Nothing works for everyone, but I TRULY believe that each and every human being is capable of being happy. One of the first steps is figuring out what is truly bothering you... the underlying issue... which is often masked by a more obvious problem. The fix comes next, and applying it takes the longest.
As I have diverged from my original list, my point is that I am making a blog so that others can learn, as I continue to learn, what makes them happy and how to maintain happiness in the long run. I'm sure my blog will still appear more like a journal and become more informal, but I hope to keep it organized enough so people can obtain what's important from it and so that its underlying THEME still comes out.
The last thing in this entry (because shorter entries are more fun to read than ridiculously long ones, in my book) is my reiteration of the fact that nothing I write should be taken TOO seriously. I want to assume that people will read this blog, but I don't want anybody to butcher the advice I give and end up in some sort of bad situation... although I would hope that wouldn't happen. I don't have any therapy license or professional degree... all I have to offer is COMPLETELY SUBJECTIVE INSIGHT ON HAPPINESS. :)
[More coming soon!]
If you don't know me at all, one thing you should know is that I feel better when things are organized. However, I am far from a neat freak, which, as you might guess, causes me quite a bit of cognitive dissonance... but we can get into that another time. For now.. to stay on track, let me tell you why I wanted to start a blog.
1) I want to become a better writer. Yes, I do know that many blogs are written in chat lingo, but I plan on using (more or less) grammatically correct sentences on my posts. I also hope to broaden my vocabulary a bit, which will always be helpful in the future.
2) At the same time... blogs are casual. I know for myself that I need a delicate balance between organization and leniency in order to avoid being stressed out with writing.
3) It has taken me a long time to realize it, but I truly enjoy expressive and creative writing. It is really hard to be a high school student in a regular English class and really LIKE writing all the essays we are assigned...fortunately, I am officially a high school graduate in five (5) days! I think that the assigned reading really turned me away from taking the Honors English courses at my high school, which could have probably enhanced my literary skills quite a bit. However, regret gets us nowhere.
4) I want to be able to help myself as well as others find the "key" to happiness. I used quotations because, of course, there is no magical solution for everyone that cures depression or life dissatisfaction. That is why everything in this blog is completely subjective, and any advice I may give is not meant to be taken personally. You can use it however you feel works for you.
I know I mentioned myself above, and yes, I will admit right now, I have suffered from depression on and off since I was about 12 years old. It has manifested itself in many different ways, but, thanks to lots of introspection (and a lot of therapy in general), I have become self-aware enough to keep it in check. I feel that a lot of people, especially in the United States, are unhappy for various reasons... maybe due to societal pressures, family problems, chemical imbalances, negative explanatory styles... there are endless causes for unhappiness.
There are also an infinite number of solutions for unhappiness. Nothing works for everyone, but I TRULY believe that each and every human being is capable of being happy. One of the first steps is figuring out what is truly bothering you... the underlying issue... which is often masked by a more obvious problem. The fix comes next, and applying it takes the longest.
As I have diverged from my original list, my point is that I am making a blog so that others can learn, as I continue to learn, what makes them happy and how to maintain happiness in the long run. I'm sure my blog will still appear more like a journal and become more informal, but I hope to keep it organized enough so people can obtain what's important from it and so that its underlying THEME still comes out.
The last thing in this entry (because shorter entries are more fun to read than ridiculously long ones, in my book) is my reiteration of the fact that nothing I write should be taken TOO seriously. I want to assume that people will read this blog, but I don't want anybody to butcher the advice I give and end up in some sort of bad situation... although I would hope that wouldn't happen. I don't have any therapy license or professional degree... all I have to offer is COMPLETELY SUBJECTIVE INSIGHT ON HAPPINESS. :)
[More coming soon!]
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